...this is not a love song

I figured the next time i wrote on here... would be from utter happiness
instead...its due to confusion
Choices choices choices
are we defined by the choices we make
that saying about one door closes another opens...
fact is... you gotta be the one to close it
There are no doors at half mass...
Thats like attempting to have the cake and eat it too
I do not fear my new path... the one with no way back...
Im scared to leave my original path...the one with the bread trail
Fear is a state of mind...
Fear is a state of mind...
I tell myself that but everytime i lose sight of a bread crumb
my stomach goes weak... my heart breaks a little...
I had my doubts.. and i trusted them always
regardless of the reassurance...
now into uncharted waters i abandon my life jacket
sounds funny because it sounds like safety net... but its not..
its safe, and trusted, known and familiar...
Change is good...
Change is good...
I love the butterflies and innocense of it all
I want the reality and familiarity to set it
I seek comfort in my decisions...
But i am not to be defined ...
I want my bucket lists, not the what ifs
I want to be the only girl, not the other girl
I want to be me with him and not you
but its hard to let it go...
Your the one I've always known...
Like you said it will never be like you and me
and you're rigght
It will be better
it won't be better because im angry or hurt
it will be better because its honest and has been since day one
it's been so long since we last had that connection
but at the thought of goodbye... no more i'll be there...
well its scary.
To close an 8 year story, chapter...saga if you will..
is scary...
Then again,
Like you said... stop hiding behind my fears.